The Verizon Fiber Solutions Center.
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
So yesterday when I woke up, I had no Internet access or cable TV. Turned the whole damned thing off, turned it back on, and the TV came back after about half an hour. The Internet was back by the time I got home from work, but only if I bypassed the modem, which was illuminated in various shades of red and orange when all of the lights should have been green. And that’s all fine and good, because I like having Internet access, and if the only way to have it is to plug a cord right into my computer, it’s not like I’ll die – I lived much of my life without the freedom to wander about at will while connected to the Internet. Heck, I only got a laptop in November.
But I know there’s a better way, and so I’ve been turning my modem off and on randomly for a while now, hoping it will come back to life. I tried troubleshooting it online, but they only have “solutions” for people who have no power light, a red flashing power light, or a solid green light but no Internet access. My power light is solid red. (Or orange, depending on your perception of color. It’s sort of orange-red. I don’t know.)
Anyway, finally I decided that I had to call Verizon, which I enjoy doing about as much as I enjoy, oh, I don’t know, talking to really, really stupid people who work for a company I pay well over $150 a month, who don’t know as much about technology as I do, who won’t accept that I know more about technology than the average person, and who also persist in following a script the entire time they are interacting with you.
But today, I take back every single bad thing I’ve ever said about Verizon. I called this evening, was only on hold for seven minutes, and the woman who answered the phone solved my problem on the very first try. Whatever happened the other night fried the power adapter for my modem. How did she know? There’s a green light on the adapter, and when I turned the modem off, the green light got brighter – when I turned it back on again it got dimmer, they’re sending me a new adapter tomorrow, and I will soon have wireless Internet again!
I know it’s a cliché, but you really don’t know what you’ve got ‘til it’s gone.
The only disturbing thing about this is that the adapter for my modem is plugged into a surge protector, which is itself plugged into another surge protector, which is plugged into a heavy-duty 25’ extension cord, which is plugged into one of those things that make two plugs into six, which is plugged into an outlet in my kitchen. Also plugged into the first surge protector is the entire power supply for my phone, the power supply for my television service, and the switcher thing for my TV, so I don’t have to unplug the cable box every time I want to watch a DVD.* Plugged into the second surge protector is my printer, my laptop charger, my speakers, and my monitor. And frequently my cell phone charger and the charger for my camera battery. Each of those things still work, although I am seriously questioning the surge protecting capabilities of both surge protectors. So sure, I can replace the surge protectors – they’re old anyway, I think. But the larger question is why I have never accidentally set my house on fire. The largest question, though, is whether my ghettolord will finally crack down and have a couple of the outlets in the living room and bedroom converted to real, honest to goodness 20th century electricity** when he next visits.***
Well, and it’s also disturbing that my official reversal of my position on Verizon’s customer service will go down in history as a time I was wrong. So be it.
_____
* Which has become irrelevant since I now use my computer as a DVD player – this weekend I mean to get rid of it, my VCR, and my DVD player. Who needs a VCR? (No, I mean “Which one of you needs a VCR?”)
** Did you know that the three-prong plug was patented in 1928? Neither did I. I love Wikipedia.
*** Speaking of which, when I mentioned to Molly that we might be having a visitor, all she had to say was, “Well, I hope he brings his own Froot Loops.” Oh, no, wait, I said that. (Molly suggested that this mysterious visitor bring a travel holder for his toothbrush, because otherwise she’s going to chew on it while you’re sleeping.)